My wife, Sandra, and I had to pick up her car from the garage earlier this week. Along the way we talked about the joys and pains of parenting – frankly more about the pains, on this occasion, since my older daughter is going through one of those epiphanies that her parents were anything but perfect. During our conversation we agreed that being a parent – perhaps especially during the painful times – provides unique opportunities, firsthand, to experience what God does in relation to us.

Take today’s Gospel reading in the light of parenthood. The story almost begs us to focus on the two sons. And that, of course, was Jesus’ point – to liken the rebellious son to people who blatantly turn away from God, but then repent, and the other son to those who appear to be fastidiously religious, but resist God anyway. Both need a change of heart. The actively rebellious are more likely to realize it. Whereas the verbally compliant yet passively resistant are more likely to defend themselves against change. That means that religious folk need to be sensitive to the subtle ways in which we’re prone to resist God. We need to be open and receptive to the more gripping experiences of God – to the transforming experiences of God’s grace.

Having said that, what I really want to focus on is the father in this story. As this one does, some of Jesus’ most compelling parables, such as the parable of the prodigal son, liken God to a parent and people to God’s children. I’d go so far as to say that one of the central and most revolutionary of Jesus’ teachings – one that set Jesus apart not only from traditional Judaism but also from other religious views – was that the Creator of the universe is our parent. Consider Jesus’ most often used prayer. “When you pray,” He said, “say this: ‘Our Father, who art in heaven.’” There’s no question that Jesus taught us to think of and treat God like our parent. One thing that can help us better understand God is to reflect upon God in the light of our own experiences of parenting – whether as givers or receivers. In this parable the father endures – he endures rebellion and passive resistance – and so does God.

That’s just one parallel between God and parents. There are many others. Like parents, God has brought us into this world. God loves and delights in us, as parents do. God has great hopes for our happiness, our enjoyment of life, our health, our well being, and our achievement of our fullest potentials. Like parents, God provides us with all the resources we need to live and learn and grow strong. Like parents, God has nothing but our best interests at heart. Like parents, God is eager to teach us how to live and to provide tools and experiences by which we can learn to live rightly in the world. Like parents, God provides us with rules and guidelines to direct our behavior. Like parents, God lets us know what will happen when we make choices. Like parents, God is delighted when we’re kind to our siblings and saddened, even angered when we hurt each other. Like parents, God corrects us when we disobey those rules – in ways that hurt other people or ourselves. Like parents, God lets us experience the consequences of our choices – both positive and negative -- and then lets us know how we went right or wrong and what to do differently in the future. Like parents, God forgives us and allows us all sorts of chances to make changes in our behavior. Like parents, God rejoices over our successes, grieves over our hurts, and hopes that we’ll learn from our failures. Like parents, God stays with us to tend our wounds, our hurts and our disappointments. Like parents, God feels the pain of our rebellions. Like parents, God knows what it’s like to be disregarded, taken for granted, and raged at. Like parents, God knows what its like to disappoint His children and to be blamed for letting them down or messing them up. Like parents, God knows what it’s like to feel helpless when the children push away, reject, or refuse to speak to Him. Like parents, God yearns for a close and mutually loving relationship with us and grieves when we can’t or won’t. Like parents, God marvels and swells with joy at our achievements, our loves, and our own children.

There’s room for growth in every parent-child relationship – at whatever age the parent and child might be. Likewise, there’s room for growth in everyone’s relationship with our Father in heaven. Indeed, when I use that term, I realize the stark reality that our experiences in this life affect our relationship with God. Some of us, for example, because we endured abuse or neglect by our parents, perhaps most especially by our fathers – find the idea of likening God to a parent or calling God our Father to be repugnant. Those childhood experiences of parenting can cause us to feel cautious toward God, distrustful, or even resentful toward God. Our relationship with God can be stunted or distanced by just such experiences of life. And so there is room for growth in our relationships with God and with our loved ones.

I wonder where the room for growth is in our relationships with our children? God understands that all too well and is uniquely able to help us.

I wonder where the room is for growth in our relationships with our parents? God understands that, too, and is perfectly able to help.

I wonder where the room for growth is in our relationship with God?

I wonder what it would take to prompt us to take the steps we might make for growth in relation to God?

What steps do you think you could take for that growth to happen?

Prayer and availability are the first steps and the best ongoing strategy for growth to take place in our relationships with our children, our parents, and other family members and with God, Himself. We need to make ourselves available to them – accessible and receptive. We need to pray about them, and that can bring about deeper understanding, empathy, compassion, forgiveness, healing, and greater intimacy in our relations with them.

I also wonder what steps you think God should take?

It may not strike at the heart of your thinking, but today’s epistle reading tells me that God has already taken a big first step. St. Paul writes, “Though He was in the form of God… He emptied Himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being in human form, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death – even death on the cross.” God has taken the first step in reaching out to us to mend our relationship with Him and to show us how to mend our relationships with others. Instead of clinging on to hurts, offenses, and disappointments or pride, God has continued, over and over again, with loving humility, to cross the great divide to reach out to us with profound empathy -- as one of us – Jesus.

In light of that, I wonder what steps you and I might take?